Read our, Reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, Verywell Family uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. Importance of … Like most things in life, we learn better when we start early. Disciplining a child means teaching your child what is acceptable behaviour. If you let your child eat whatever they want, they may experience serious health risks. Discipline helps in better decision making: Discipline can help a child in choosing good choices. Studies have shown that a strong sense of self-control is more likely to result in a person having lower stress levels and being more content in life. While you become clear on what behaviors will be punished, don't forget to reward good behaviors. Your child will become engaged and disciplined with positive attitudes. Kids need to learn problem-solving skills, impulse control, and self-regulation skills from appropriate training. 1  Discipline is as vital for healthy child development as nutritious food, physical and cognitive exercises, love, and other basic needs. In fact, failure to discipline children often results in kids who are unhappy, angry, and even resentful. Should You Have Separate Rules and Consequences for Each of Your Kids? 2004;9(1):43-52. doi:10.1093/pch/9.1.43. Whatever discipline method we use, it should involve two things that appear to be near the top of the “Most Important Concepts of All” list: Boundaries and Consistency. Kids who are not trained on discipline are considered unhappy. The ultimate goal of discipline should be to keep kids safe. Concentrate on rules that are most important to you as a parent and prioritize them. They will be more likely to engage in negative behaviors that are harmful and even potentially dangerous for themselves as well as others. … They often test limits just to make sure that their caregivers can keep them safe. Discipline Helps Kids Manage Anxiety Believe or not, kids don’t want to be in charge. Child discipline should start in the beginning. You might think it is obvious, but, your child needs to know this. It is important in the case of children to set healthy limits and teach children how to make healthy choices. Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. This includes major safety issues, such as looking both ways before crossing the road. Discipline also protects kids from major health issues such as preventing obesity. Sege RD, Siegel BS. “But they behave much better when they know what the consequences will be for certain actions, and that these consequences are predictable and fair. Kids … Why children need discipline. To those around them, a child who is not disciplined will be unpleasant company, and a child without discipline may find it difficult to make friends. Watch for times when misbehavior has a pattern, like if your child is feeling jealous. Parenting knowledge, attitudes and practices. They will not respect their parents or other authority figures. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Physical violence only brings negative consequences. Lack of boundaries, simply put, leads to chaos. For school-age children, in particular, learning how to manage their own behavior and regulate their negative impulses is particularly crucial. It is as important as healthy food, body exercise, and love. The Bible says, “Folly is locked in a Child’s heart”. They know that they are accountable for their mistakes or misbehavior, and are more likely to make good choices because they want to, not because they fear punishment. B2M Productions / Photographer's Choice / Getty Images. Studies have reported that infants respond to the sounds of the human voice. They will not have social skills that are important for making friends such as empathy, patience, and knowing how to share. Being disciplined is not a destination. Yes, Why Discipline is important for children? It is to train one to obey rules or a code of conduct, using punishment to correct disobedience. Punishments, however, tend to mean that kids quickly learn how to not get caught when they misbehave. “The most important thing that parents can do is try not to discipline their children while they are angry,” Grant said. For example, when a child loses his bicycle privileges for riding into the road, he learns how to make safer choices next time. It is as important as healthy food, body exercise, and love. Through intentional and consistent discipline your child is aware of expected behavior. Kids who are not trained on discipline are considered unhappy. And why discipline your children is so important? Discipline is not about punishing your kids for misbehavior. Some parents may be reluctant to discipline children because they want to avoid conflict or because they don’t want to have their child be angry at them. A positive attitude is necessary for a good life as ‘An attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference’. When Is it Appropriate to Discipline Another Person's Child? Give them your attention. They are pleasant to be around and are more likely to have an easier time making friends. “Children will inevitably misbehave from time to time,” says parenting expert, Elizabeth O’Shea. How to Reprimand Your Child the Right Way (and Mistakes to Avoid), Parenting Experts Say These Are The Most Important Things Parents Should Do, How to Curb Aggressive Behavior Before It Gets Out of Control, How to Take Away a Privilege to Teach Your Child a Life Lesson. Pediatrics. You should enjoy holding, cuddling, and talking with your baby. Rules should be consistent. To discipline a child effectively, it needs to be built on love, trust and mutual respect. That's not safe." It helps you channel your energy toward positive things. They will not know what is appropriate behavior. But proper discipline is one of the most important components of your child’s development. Appropriate discipline is about guiding your children to choose right over wrong. It's important to set healthy limits and offer education to help your child learn to make healthy choices. Start working on your Child’s Discipline from an Early Age. Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC. Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Kids need to know where the limits are and that someone loves them enough to … Consistent discipline: why it’s important. A child who has been taught right from wrong and has a solid sense of what is negative and positive behavior will know when they have done something wrong. They will want to behave correctly out of a desire to be a good citizen and a member of their family and society—not because they fear punishment. The basis of discipline You should show your child and help them know and understand that you love them. Effective discipline: A healthy approach. When a child receives a time-out after hitting his brother, he learns skills that will help him manage his anger better in the future. If you refuse to give in to a temper tantrum, your child will learn that's not a good way to get his needs met. There will always be occasions where everyone slips up. Many parents don’t set - or don't enforce - rules for their kids because they don’t want to be the villain. The three-step approach for how to discipline a child. Say, "You could fall and hit your head. A child’s intellectual ability develops over time. But we know better and owe our children an all rounded form of discipline. Understand the expected behavior at different ages. 4 Questions to Ask When Child Doesn't Seem to Care About Consequences, 10 Bad Excuses for Not Disciplining Your Kids. Discipline should also address other health risks, such as preventing obesity. This school discipline can help children habituate it and can be carried on for life. U.S. National Library of Medicine. There are many types of discipline and various approaches to parenting. Importance of discipline. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Unfortunately, it is anger, and resentfulness that will rule their lives. This article tells the importance of discipline in our life. Child discipline, when done correctly, is not about trying to control your child but about showing them how to control their own behavior. It is not about punishing a child for doing something wrong but about setting clear parameters and consequences for breaking rules so that they learn how to discipline themself. But ultimately, regardless of the type of discipline a parent uses, discipline offers kids many benefits. When adults offer positive and negative consequences, kids grow and learn. Kids who have overly permissive parents often experience anxiety because they have to make adult decisions. When you say, “You are working so hard to build that tower even though it is really hard to do. Instead of saying, “Stop jumping,” when your child is jumping on the bed, tell them why it's a problem. What many parents who are reluctant to discipline children may not understand is how damaging it can be for a child to lack boundaries. Without discipline, children will be deficient in important life skills including the following: On the other hand, children who have been given firm but loving guidance will benefit from traits and abilities like the following: Of course, how we discipline is as important as whether or not we discipline. Why It Is Important to Discipline Your Child Discipline isn't just about giving kids consequences. It is a journey. Hitting an Appropriate Form of Discipline? So it is very important to set foundations in order to create good behavior on the life of a child. By using Verywell Family, you accept our, JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Getty Images, How to Parent a Sensitive Child Live in a Less Than Sensitive World, How to Curb Aggressive Behavior Before It Gets Out of Control, 8 Discipline Strategies That Are More Effective Than Spanking, The Best Ways to Get a Preschooler to Behave. It teaches new behavior rather than punishment of the old. However, you don’t have to spank or punish your child in order to discipline him, (unfortunately, there are many parents who still use this technique) you can be polite and gentle, and yet discipline him. Tips and Mistakes When Disciplining Children, Ouch! In such situations, we realise why is discipline important for a child since his childhood. Discipline is not only good for children, but it is also necessary for their happiness and well-being. Even adults have discipline issues occasionally. They know their opinions and feelings will be heard and that their parents love them even when they make mistakes. The first is to code behaviour by use of punishment. Int J Environ Res Public Health. I wrote an answer a few months ago about spanking my children. Surprising Facts About Spanking and Corporal Punishment, How to Respond to Back Talk, Swearing, Defiance, and Outright Disrespect, How to Parent a Sensitive Child Live in a Less Than Sensitive World, 7 Positive Ways to Discipline Children in Foster Care, The Biggest Reasons Your Child Needs Discipline, Effective Ways to Discipline a Child for Swearing. It is plausible that discipline shapes the life of a person and creates a uniformity in life, as it designs the life of a person in systematic way. But it’s just as important to pay attention to how you discipline your children as it is to why you discipline them. Without discipline, children lack the tools necessary to navigate relationships and challenges in life such as self-discipline, respect for others, and cooperating with peers.. But the important thing is that we pick ourselves up and try and do better the next time. The ultimate goal of discipline should be to keep kids safe. When kids are disciplined with appropriate consequences they learn from their mistakes. Harsh punishment is the wrong approach to discipline children. The most powerful tool for effective discipline is attention—to reinforce good behaviors and discourage others. Discipline is very important for life. “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” This ability can be developed or strengthened at any given time if you put your mind to it. It may include consequences, but it should never involve cruelty or corporal punishment. This includes major safety issues, such as looking both ways before crossing the road. It makes the difference between really well behaved children and kids who never listen and are always testing their limits. In fact true discipline is an act of love, not anger. Instead, it ensures children are gaining the skills they need to become responsible adults. The most important point is that kids understand how to act appropriately in many situations and manage their feeling well. Contrary to what some parents may mistakenly believe, children who are not regularly disciplined are not happy. Will Spanking Kids Really Scar Them for Life? Discipline Helps Kids Manage Anxiety Discipline … They know what is expected, what is appropriate, and they will learn in time to stick to the rules. The key to positive child discipline is keeping your cool (and giving yourself a time out if necessary) so that you can communicate with your child calmly about what is and is not acceptable behavior and how they can make better choices and learn from his mistakes. Have a positive relationship with your child. When you discipline your child, irrespective of age, keep these tips in mind: Good behavior should always be reinforced with praise and appreciation. This is another example of why positive discipline is important. These Consequences Will Change Your Teen's Behavior, 7 Positive Ways to Discipline Children in Foster Care, Strategies That Will Help You Become More Authoritative to Your Kids, How to Take Away a Privilege to Teach Your Child a Life Lesson, Teaching Your Child Self-Control When it Comes to Spending Money. By using Verywell Family, you accept our, How to Determine the Best Way Discipline Your Child. The one truly magical aspect of parenting is the importance of a child's first four years. In its most basic form, discipline is about choices and consequences: You explain your expectations for your child, and if he ignores these rules or expectations that there are consequences. 2018;16(1) doi:10.3390/ijerph16010021, Surprising Reasons Why We Need to Discipline Children, Ⓒ 2020 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved. They are more self-confident. Paediatr Child Health. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the Mentally Strong People podcast. Ignoring mild misbehavior can teach kids socially appropriate ways to manage their frustration as well. But ultimately, regardless of the type of discipline a parent uses, discipline offers kids many benefits. Others may be unable or unwilling to devote time and energy to the task of disciplining children. Hosokawa R, Katsura T. Role of parenting style in children's behavioral problems through the transition from preschool to elementary school according to gender in Japan. When you ignore whining, your child will learn that whining won't change your behavior. Read our, Reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, Verywell Family uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Just as your children playing video games all the time will lead to bad results, so too can your lack of wisdom and self-restraint when interacting with your children lead to bad results. First, it is important to distinguish between the two meanings of discipline. This is why it is so important to be consistent with your children. Why children need discipline is very crucial for their happiness and joy. Yet bad is naturally acquired? Do you ever wonder why good behavior has to be taught? But setting your child limits is vital for teaching him self-control, and they help your child feel secure . If you’ve ever known kids who are not regularly disciplined by their parents, you’ve probably seen some very stark examples of why it’s important to discipline children. Discipline is not only good for children, but it is also necessary for their happiness and well-being. Discipline is as vital for healthy child development as nutritious food, physical and cognitive exercises, love, and other basic needs. There are many types of discipline and various approaches to parenting. What to Do if Your Child is a Biter, why it’s important to discipline children, Parenting knowledge, attitudes and practices, Role of parenting style in children's behavioral problems through the transition from preschool to elementary school according to gender in Japan. How Can Parents Discipline Kids Without Raising Their Voice? Keep up the good work,” your child learns about the importance of tolerating frustration. Make promises and make sure you deliver. There are many reasons why a parent may not want to discipline a child. Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Believe it or not, kids don’t want to be in charge. Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children. Discipline extends to personal life, career, work, study, lifestyle, and even social life. Unfortunately, it is anger, and resentfulness that will rule their lives. Other discipline strategies such as praise, can also teach kids how to deal with feelings. A very young child, such as a baby, has no comprehension of right and wrong. If you allow your child to eat whatever she wants, they may experience serious health risks. Disciplining a child does not mean yelling or losing one’s temper (though being human, all parents can certainly have those moments when we can get angry or frustrated by a child’s bad behavior). They will be willful, selfish, and generally unpleasant company. When children receive necessary discipline, they learn the skills necessary to be a responsible adult. It is important to match the discipline of your child with your child’s capacity to understand. Healthy discipline teaches kids alternative ways to get their needs met. Used sparingly or liberally, understanding how to discipline your child is fundamental to the parent-child dynamic. Difficult confrontations now will ultimately make life easier for you and, especially, your kid. Discipline should also address other health risks, such as preventing obesity. As a parent, part of our responsibility to our children is to guide them in controlling certain actions, urges, language, behavior, and so forth, so that they can function effectively with the society we live in. People did not actually stop to read what I had written. We want to enjoy every moment with our children, so sometimes it … Discipline isn't just about giving kids consequences. Discipline gives children guidelines they can follow. Disciplining a child is extremely important if you want your little one to grow up to a good human being. When you see your child playing gently, and practicing the positive behavior, take time to recognize it. 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Or other authority figures how you discipline them Productions / Photographer 's Choice / Getty.! `` you could fall and hit your head not why is it important to discipline your child good for,. Does n't take appropriate safety precautions a system of values that they use... And generally unpleasant company their frustration as well as others of why positive discipline is attention—to good... Solve the problem them enough to … and why discipline your child finish the story helping... Behavior on the life of a child effectively, it needs to be in charge proper discipline about...